


Slow Hands

by partymaker



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Idiots in Love, M/M, Maybe one day i will write kiyoyachi...maybe, Pining, There is mention of KiyoYachi but it's not a main pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 16:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6618571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partymaker/pseuds/partymaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata doesn't want to be a burden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slow Hands

**Author's Note:**

> This is a present for a friend of mine! Her birthday was yesterday (4/20 HEHE)! HAPPY BDAY ILUSM!!

Hinata can't stop staring.

They’re having practice and Kageyama is currently throwing a volleyball into the air, his fingers lightly touching the ball before he sends it back up. Hinata watches as the ball comes down, goes up, and comes down again. He doesn't realize he's been staring for longer than he’s meant to, not until he hears a soft clicking noise at his side. 

Hinata blinks and his eyesight refocuses until the blurry shapes around Kageyama sharpen.

“If you keep staring at him like that, you're going to get an aneurysm,” says Tsukishima, appearing at Hinata’s side. He’s holding a volleyball in one hand, the other resting on his hip. He gives Hinata a quick side glance before following Hinata’s line of vision.

“What are you talking about?” Hinata glares at Tsukishima, his mouth set in a small pout.

“Tch. Everyone can tell you’ve got it bad for the King. Everyone except the King, of course.” 

“S-shut up!”

Tsukishima nonchalantly shrugs and says nothing more. He hands Hinata the volleyball he was holding and Hinata takes it—he can't help but think it's unfair that even though he and Tsukishima are the same age, Tsukishima can hold a volleyball with just one hand while he still has to use two hands in order to get a solid grip. Tsukishima walks over to the other side of the court where Yachi and Yamaguchi are, leaving Hinata to contemplate in silence.

Hinata is aware of his feelings. He doesn’t need Tsukishima to pour salt into the wound. 

He brings the volleyball up to his chin and continues to watch Kageyama.

*

Hinata's not one hundred percent sure when these feelings surfaced, but he's pretty sure that they are becoming a hindrance to his performance on the court. 

_Everyone can tell you've got it bad for the King._

He wipes Tsukishima’s smug grin from his mind.

The first thing he thought was that he, like many teenagers around the world, was just going through a bout of spring fever. The weather was getting to him, he decided. That was the only reason why his face heated up when Kageyama praised him after a good spike, and it was definitely the reason why his brain short-circuited whenever he caught a glimpse of Kageyama’s toned stomach in the locker room.

There was no other reason for it, honestly. Hinata’s been playing volleyball with Kageyama for almost two years—he should be used to this by now. But spring came and went, and by the time fall rolled around, it was getting harder and harder to blame the weather. Hinata’s face still turns red when Kageyama praises him and his eyes linger a little bit longer whenever he sees a half-naked Kageyama in the locker room.

So Hinata just waits it out and hopes that by the end of his high school volleyball career, he won’t have to deal with the awkward and weird flips his stomach does whenever he sees Kageyama.

If what Tsukishima said is true and Kageyama hasn't noticed, Hinata is grateful because he can't handle the thought of his feelings hindering Kageyama, especially on the court. It's fine if Kageyama hasn't noticed and to be honest, it's a blessing.

It's fine.

*

“I can’t believe I’m almost failing English, again. Why do we even have to take it? It’s boring and hard and I don’t even plan on going to America,” whines Hinata, slouching defeatedly over his desk. Across from him, Yachi gives him a small smile.

“A-ah, well...You won’t have to take it again after the end of the year, right? Just think about that and use it as your goal!” Yachi raises her fist over her head, eyes set in determination. 

“All I can think about is volleyball,” replies Hinata. He lays his head down on the cool surface of the desk and closes his eyes. The grip on his pencil softens and it almost falls on the floor; Yachi makes a grab for it before it hits the ground.

“If you don’t pass the exam, then you won’t get to play volleyball,” says Yachi. She taps the pencil against Hinata’s hair, giggling as it slowly sinks into his fluffy hair. “Let's go over verb conjugation again.”

“Ugh. I can't believe dumb Kageyama is actually passing this class and I'm not. That's unfair,” grumbles Hinata. He lifts his head from the desk and looks at Yachi. “Have you been tutoring him, too?”

“Oh, no. I helped him once in the beginning of the year but he hasn't come back for more tutoring sessions.”

“Hm.” 

Hinata thinks for a bit before coming to a logical conclusion. It's nearing the end of their second year, so of course Kageyama is starting to think seriously about college. They haven't talked about it a lot, but the one time they have, Kageyama expressed his desire to get into a university with a volleyball team. Hinata could only force a small smile, holding back the urge to ask, “What are you gonna do without me,Kageyama-san?” At the time, he'd thought of it as a joke, but the question now has solid weight that makes his heart sink into the pit of his stomach.

It honestly sucks thinking about the fact that maybe one day, he and Kageyama aren't going to be together on a team anymore. Hinata's not even sure if he wants to go to college but—

“—Hinata-kun?” Yachi derails his train of thought before it gets any worse.

“Huh?” 

“Do you want to answer the next problem? It's asking you to conjugate ‘sleep’.” 

“Yachi-san, have you ever liked someone?” Hinata asks, paying no mind to her question.

Yachi’s face turns a cute shade of pink and she's suddenly scrambling for words, but all that comes out of her mouth is gibberish. “Why are you asking me this?! This is a tutoring session, I-I’m not, this is—! What?”

“Yachi-san.” Hinata stares at her until she gives reluctantly.

She takes a deep breath and avoids looking at Hinata when she answers him. “Um...There was someone, but…”

“But?” repeats Hinata, eyes wide.

“There was a problem with distance. It didn't work out,” finishes Yachi. She picks absentmindedly at a hangnail on her index finger, still avoiding Hinata's eyes.

“I guess I can see that being a problem. Do you still like this person?” asks Hinata.

“I do. But she's all the way in Fukuoka and I have no means of…” Yachi’s eyes widen at her accidental slip up and it doesn't take long for Hinata to put the pieces together. He may be oblivious at times, but it's pretty clear who Yachi is referring to.

“Kiyoko-san! It's Kiyoko-san!!” Hinata whispers animatedly, waving his arms around his head. 

“Y-yes…” Yachi lowers her head. “Please don't tell anyone.”

“Wah, of course not! I won't!” 

“Hehe, thank you, Hinata-kun,” says Yachi, looking nothing but extremely grateful.

“Kiyoko-san, huh...wow, I can see why you like her. She’s so pretty. Did Kiyoko-san reciprocate your feelings?”

“Um, I confessed to her last year and she said she liked me, too...so…” Yachi brings her hands up to her face and turns away in embarrassment.

“So even though you guys like each other, it still didn't work out,” says Hinata, mostly to himself. 

“It's hard. There are a lot of factors that keep people from being together. Kiyoko-san is eight hours away and she’s so busy with school. I didn't want to be a burden,” Yachi says sadly. “Even though…”

Hinata thinks about himself and Kageyama, and tries to compare themselves to Kiyoko and Yachi. It's useless, because Kiyoko and Yachi actually like each other, while he's harboring one-sided feelings for dumb Kageyama. It still makes him sad, though. Even though two people like each other, it's still not enough to keep them together.

“I'm sorry, Yachi-san,” says Hinata.

“It's okay. I'm trying my best to get into Kyushu Sangyo University. It's an hour away but at least we can be together. It's difficult right now but once I get through third year, it'll be fine! I'm not giving up so easily!” Yachi grins and it's contagious; Hinata finds himself grinning along with her, even if it does feel forced.

“Okay, let's get to work!” says Yachi. She hands Hinata his pencil and he reluctantly takes it.

“Ugh,” Hinata groans. 

*

After the tutoring session, Hinata and Yachi part ways. Hinata waves and tells Yachi to have a nice day but instead of doing the same, Yachi only tells him, “Good luck with your future establishments!” before running away in embarrassment. Hinata stands in the middle of the hallway and cocks his head to one side. He's not really sure what Yachi meant by that, but he's…grateful? It sounded sincere, so he'll take it as a positive thing.

Hinata walks off in the direction of the bike racks, thinking about the dinner his mom is probably preparing right now and how he won't have the appetite to eat it. He feels bad because she's been preparing a lot of his favorite meals, to no avail. His stomach just can't handle food; every time he tries to eat anything, it feels like he's trying to swallow a pincushion. 

He sighs as he stops in front of his bike and unlocks it from its rack. Taking the bike, he walks a few feet with it before he comes to a stop in front of the gymnasium; the doors are wide open and he can hear the unmistakable sound of a volleyball hitting the gym floor. Hinata is confused because he's pretty sure that there isn't practice today, so he sets his bike down and takes a peek around the corner.

And of course, Kageyama is right there, practicing his serves, and Hinata feels his heart give out and his stomach flips out. 

It's not like Hinata’s purposely avoiding Kageyama, but it's been getting more difficult to avoid the feelings that arise every time he sees him. So, he takes a step back and every higher being in existence must really have something against him because the next thing he knows, he's staring up at the sky, having tripped over his bike and landing on the ground. The crash was loud enough that there is no way Kageyama didn't hear it.

This is so great. So great. Hinata would really love it if he'd got struck down by lightning right. Now. He closes his eyes breathes out.

“Oi, Hinata. Get up.”

“Grk!” Hinata opens his eyes and comes face to face with Kageyama’s glare. “Kageyama! What are you doing here?” he asks, as if he hadn't seen him inside the gym.

“I heard a crash, so I came out here to see what it was. It doesn't surprise me that it was you,” Kageyama explains. His right hand is resting on a jutting hip and it makes him look so cocky and condescending, but Hinata knows Kageyama better than most people; his resting face makes him more intimidating than he really is.

Hinata quickly gets up and dusts himself off. “Are you practicing by yourself?” He points to Kageyama's work out clothes.

“Hmm, yeah. I'm almost done,” says Kageyama. Hinata takes note of Kageyama's labored breathing and the rivulets of sweat running down the side of his neck. They disappear into the collar of Kageyama's shirt and Hinata feels very hot all of a sudden. He swallows as he watches Kageyama's mouth move but for some reason, all he can hear is an exponentially loud buzzing in his ear.

“—Hey, Hinata.”

“Huh, wha?” Hinata internally berates himself. He really needs to stop staring.

“I asked what you were doing out here. It's getting late and I’m going to lock up soon.”

“Oh! I was seeing Yachi-san off and as I walked this way, I saw the gym doors were open. I thought it was weird because I was one hundred percent sure that practice is tomorrow,” explains Hinata. “Practice is tomorrow, right?”

Kageyama's eyes narrow ever so slightly. “You were with Yachi-san?” he asks, ignoring Hinata's question.

“Yeah, she's tutoring me in English. If I don't pass the next exam, then I can't play,” says Hinata, his voice becoming smaller towards the end of his sentence.

The harsh lines around Kageyama’s eyes soften. “Tutoring,” he says, with what sounds like relief, then, “Wait, you're failing English? You said you were doing fine!!”

“Hey! Don't get mad at me! You're barely passing it! I saw your last exam score and it was nothing to brag about!” exclaims Hinata, pointing an accusatory finger at Kageyama's chest.

“But I'm not failing it! What am going to do if you don't play the next game? I can't play without you!”

In less than a second, both boys go absolutely quiet.

Kageyama’s face turns an amazing shade of red that slowly creeps its way towards his neck and ears. Hinata's eyes are wider than saucers and he feels like his heart is going to explode.

When Hinata notices that Kageyama isn't going to say anything, he speaks up, “Um...Kageyama?”

“Tch, dumbass. You're supposed to tell me these things so we can plan ahead in case we need to replace you.” Kageyama rubs his forehead with the heel of his palm and looks away to avoid eye contact with Hinata.

“But you're not going to replace me,” says Hinata. He's not sure where this confidence came from but he needs to grab onto it while it's still there. “I'm going to pass my exam and we’re gonna play together because we’re us and we never give up. So I'm not gonna give up! I'll pass my exam! I promise! I never give up, right? Hehe.”

“...You better not. Keep your promise,” says Kageyama, a slight pout making its way onto his face.

“Heh, Kageyama-san is shy.”

“Shut up, dumbass!” Kageyama makes a grab for Hinata but misses.

“Missed!” Hinata laughs and grabs his bike, hopping on and pedaling away. “Bye, Kageyama! See you tomorrow!” 

“See you.” Kageyama waves, watching as Hinata bikes further and further away.

*

It's lunch time and Hinata is up on the roof fiddling with his phone, staring at the contact list. He has less than ten minutes left and he already cut his lunch time with Kageyama short, so he has to make this call worth it. He takes a breath and hits the call button, waiting for a few seconds before the person on the other line picks up.

“Hello, Hinata.” A warm and gentle voice answers the phone and Hinata instantly feels safe.

“Suga-san? I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time,” says Hinata. 

“Nope, I have break right now but I’m waiting for Daichi to get out of class. What can I help you with?” asks Suga and Hinata is amazed because it's almost as if Suga can read minds.

“Woh, how did you know?” 

“I only get calls from you when you're in trouble or you need help,” says Suga as a matter of factly.

Hinata blushes. Okay, so Suga can't read minds; Hinata is just predictable when it comes to seeking help from him.

“Well, I'm not in trouble this time. It felt like it at first, but not anymore.” Hinata leans against the chain link fence and slides down until he’s seated on the concrete. “At first, I….Suga-san? If I tell you something, can you promise to keep it a secret?”

“Of course, Hinata,” says Suga and the reassurance in his voice is all Hinata needs to continue.

“Okay. I like Kageyama. More than just a friend, I mean. At first, I couldn't deal with my feelings because I thought they were just a phase or something else, you know? And I didn't want to be a burden. But Kageyama is seriously thinking about going to university and at first I didn't even think about going but now I want to! Because not being able to play volleyball with Kageyama is worse than him not returning my feelings. I want to play volleyball with him for as long as I can!” Hinata releases a shaky breath and blinks rapidly to clear the tears welling up in his eyes. “So yeah, that's that. I don’t know what to do and I'm sorry for taking up your time, I'm just gonna—”

“Hinata,” Suga cuts in, “How long have you had these feelings for Kageyama?”

“I don't know,” Hinata whines. “Last spring. Maybe even the first time we successfully pulled off our quick.”

“Hmm,” hums Suga. “You know, Hinata, I think you should tell Kageyama how you feel.”

“HUH? What?” Hinata almost drops his phone in shock. “Are you crazy, Suga-san?!”

“Haha, no, no. I honestly think you should. My gut tells me you should.”

Hinata exasperatedly runs his free hand through his unruly hair. “I can't do that,” he replies.

“You just said that not being able to play volleyball with Kageyama would be worse than him not reciprocating your feelings, right?” 

“Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to tell him! I don’t want to burden him.”

“Hinata, I think you don’t want to get hurt. But it will be fine, trust me. That’s all I can tell you right now,” says Suga. “Oh, Daichi’s here. Sorry, Hinata. I have to go! Please call me if anything else comes up. Bye!”

“Bye,” Hinata grumbles and ends the call.

He’s at a loss.

*

By the time practice rolls around, Hinata’s pleasant and sunny disposition is back, albeit less chipper than normal. He's still thinking about his call with Suga and the advice he received, although he doesn't want to take action.

Coach Ukai is talking to the team and Hinata only catches the beginning of every sentence before they devolve into faint, unintelligible strings of noise.

Like always, Hinaga is sitting next to Kageyama on the bleachers and while he’s usually able keep his emotions in check, his unsteady heartbeat and nervousness make it ten times harder than normal to be around Kageyama. His right foot is involuntarily moving up and down and it keeps bumping into Kageyama's leg. Kageyama shoots him a glare and Hinata grins sheepishly, but his foot is still moving, so he places both of his hands over his thigh and puts pressure on his leg to stop the shaking. It doesn't help and his leg twitches and almost kicks Kageyama. 

“What the hell are you doing, dumbass?!” Kageyama whispers angrily, 

“Sorry, sorry!”

Behind them, Tsukishima rolls his eyes and nudges Yamaguchi, who snickers at Kageyama and Hinata’s antics. 

“Yamaguchi, don’t you find this public display of affection a little overbearing?” says Tsukishima quietly. Yamaguchi just nods and hides his grin behind his hand.

Hinata and Kageyama go quiet.

“What did you say?” Kageyama turns around and looks Tsukishima straight in the eye, daring him to say more.

Tsukishima ignores Kageyama’s stare down and looks at Hinata for a brief second before returning to Kageyama, “I guess you’re both oblivious. That’s no surprise, though. Idiots are attracted to idiots.”

Hinata instantly turns red and Kageyama hurls insult after insult at Tsukishima, who pretends to misunderstand every word that comes out Kageyama’s mouth. All three are too preoccupied with their petty arguments to even realize Coach Ukai shouting at them in order to get their attention. It’s not until Yamaguchi tugs at Tsukishima’s jacket that all three turn their eyes to Ukai.

“Hey, idiots! I don’t need ya here if you’re not gonna pay attention! Go run 10 laps,” says Ukai, pointing to the gym doors with his clipboard.

“Yes, sir!” Hinata and Kageyama reply, making their way to the exit.

“You too, Tsukishima,” says Ukai when he sees Tsukishima’s condescending smirk. Tsukishima lets out an annoyed “tch” and follows Hinata and Kageyama out the door.

*

“Aren’t you gonna run?” Hinata asks Tsukishima, who plops down on the ground by the side of the gym. “No fair!”

“If I breathe the same air as you two, I might catch something,” replies Tsukishima. He pulls out a small pair of earbuds from the inside of his jacket and connects them to his mp3 player. “I won’t tell the King about you know what if you stay quiet about this.” Tsukishima points to Kageyama, who’s doing stretches several feet away.

Hinata nods.

“Have fun,” murmurs Tsukishima.

Hinata walks over to Kageyama with his head bowed down and a defeated look on his face. He noticed that Kageyama hasn’t said anything to him since the incident inside the gym so he’s not sure if he should bring it up or not. Hinata hopes that Kageyama isn't too upset at Tsukishima for the PDA joke and that he takes it for nothing more than it was: a joke.

“Hinata.”

“Bwuh!” Hinata makes a squeaky noise and looks up at Kageyama. His eyes narrow when he notices than Kageyama has somehow grown taller and handsomer than last week. Unfair.

“You…” says Kageyama, rather stupidly.

“Me.” Hinata points at his nose.

“You said you wouldn’t give up,” says Kageyama, reminding Hinata of his promise from yesterday. “So why are you?”

“Huh?”

“You’re giving up and you said you wouldn’t.” Kageyama looks down at his scuffed up sneakers, face set in an embarrassed pout. 

“I'm not giving up! I—,” Hinata speaks up but Kageyama interrupts him.

“I don't mean your test or volleyball. I mean us. Why are you giving up on us?” Kageyama points between himself and Hinata. “I know how you feel about me.”

Panic sets in and Hinata wants to curl up into a ball and die. The worst possible thing that could have happened is happening right now and he feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. But Hinata can't make his feelings be known, so he does something he's been getting really good at lately: he pretends.

“I don't know what you're talking about, Kageyama. Did you hit your head or something?” He strokes his chin, feigning deep thought.

“Hinata, I know!” exclaims Kageyama, walking up to Hinata until he's practically less than an inch away from him. “I overheard your phone call with Suga-san on the roof. I got annoyed with you because you kept flaking out on me during lunch, so I followed you to the roof. I...I heard everything.”

Hinata steps back in panic but Kageyama grabs his wrist to stop him from running away. Everything is wrong, wrong, Kageyama wasn't ever supposed to find out and Hinata wishes with every fiber of his soul and heart that this is a nightmare and that he'll soon wake up in his bed and start the morning over.

“Please don't hate me,” says Hinata, his voice barely a whisper. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I swear I'll get over it and then we can go back to the way we were. I'll get over you and then we can go to college and play volleyball together and everything will be normal between us!” 

And as he's saying these words, Hinata knows it's not possible. He looks Kageyama in the eyes, his stupid, beautiful blue eyes, and he knows there’s no way he'll ever get over Kageyama. Hinata will grow old and saggy and he'll still think about the idiot giant who made him feel like he could fly.

“I don't want you to,” says Kageyama, his hand tightening around Hinata’s wrist. “Stop apologizing and stop saying you’ll get over it. I don't want you to give up, because that's not like you. And I...I feel the same way.”

And suddenly everything makes sense. Hinata thinks back to his conversation with Suga and how nonchalantly he seemed to react to to his confession, and then he remembers what Yachi told him yesterday when they parted ways after their tutoring session. 

“Y-You do? You like me, too? Not just like friends, right?” asks Hinata, voice full of hope.

“Yeah. Not like friends,” replies Kageyama and he looks at Hinata the same way he looks at him when they successfully pull off their quick. 

Hinata swears he's never been happier and he begins to simultaneously laugh and cry while Kageyama looks confused. It's not a funny or sad situation at all, but Hinata can't stop the onslaught of feelings that have taken over his body. He's overflowing but it's okay, because Kageyama is there to help him out.

“Why are you crying?!” yells Kageyama, gripping Hinata's wrist tighter than ever. 

“I'm just really happy. I'm so happy! My heart feels like...gwah!” Hinata jumps on Kageyama and almost knocks him over but Kageyama steadies himself. He wraps his arms around Hinata and burries his face in the crook of Hinata’s neck.

“Kageyama, you're my boyfriend now.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama says, his voice muffled by Hinata's jacket.

“And we're gonna go to the same college and we're gonna play volleyball together and then we're gonna reach the top together, okay? We'll be invincible.”

“Yeah,” says Kageyama and Hinata swears he can hear a slight waver in his voice.

“I'm sorry I've been acting weird but, to be fair, it's all your fault,” grumbles Hinata.

“Yeah,” repeats Kageyama, holding Hinata tighter than ever. Hinata laughs and asks Kageyama to put him down; he does so and Hinata jumps a few steps away from Kageyama and pulls on his sleeve, smiling coyly at him.

“Kageyama, if you catch me I'll let you kiss me,” he says, stepping further and further away until he sprints away from Kageyama. Kageyama turns beet red, all the way down to his neck, and he breaks into a run after Hinata.

Kageyama doesn't end up getting a kiss, but Hinata promises that he'll run a little bit slower next time.


End file.
